Stepmoms are nurturing a marriage and trying to figure out their role in the stepchild’s life. And while you knew your place in your child’s life from day one, stepmoms can spend years trying to find theirs.

You know you’re burned out when you’re snarling about things that typically wouldn’t bother you—the kitchen cabinet left ajar, the lone sock in the hallway, the stepchild innocently asking you what’s for dinner. You feel more sensitive than usual and get upset at the drop of a hat.

The biological bond enables parents to love, forgive and accept their children—even in the worst scenarios. Most stepparents aren’t capable of that, so they find themselves struggling with the fact that they don’t really like their stepkids.

Why do stepmoms often feel like such outsiders? Because they are. Non-stepmoms won’t understand this concept. But if you’re a stepmom you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve never felt so ignored and out of place in your life. Welcome to the Stepfamily.

Because the family of origin doesn’t include the stepparent, kids don’t have the instinct to say their name first or go to them for answers or comfort, or, in some cases, even say hello when they call.

There seems to be a belief that because you’re not the biological parent, you can’t possibly be suffering as much as they are, therefore you should just keep your chin up and mouth shut. I believe in most cases this isn’t an intentional diss by others.

The advice, or rather, instruction, that you should love a child as your own is bad enough, but the addition of “unconditional” is just preposterous.  If most stepparents were actually capable of unconditionally loving a child who isn’t theirs, don’t you think they would? Life would be SO much easier with unconditional love!