Impossibly High Standards, (But Not For Me!)
High expectations
When it comes to how you expect the other woman to behave, do you think you could meet those same standards?
Never say a single bad word against the other person.
Always do what's best for the children (according to your private interpretation).
Never be late (come hell, high water or bad traffic).
Never get angry, be snippy, play the victim, or be a flake.
Life is messy. You solve three or four problems and twelve others line up to take their place. We all know it: everyone drops the ball on a daily basis. Doesn't life just seem impossible, in some ways?
Blowing off steam
And one thing we do that helps is to vent about it. To our friends. To co-workers. To perfect strangers. Yes, even with the kids in our lives.
We connect. We gain support. Comfort and reassurance.
If we're doing it right, we temporarily vent to release pressure, just like a pressure cooker's bobbing weight hissing away. We let off steam with sympathetic friends so that we can then take action. We take action to hopefully, fingers crossed, fix the problem (while 11 others unravel in the background).
We're trying!
They’re struggling too
So if you condemn the other woman or parent because they have the audacity to vent and present a skewed analysis of "the situation" as you see it, you will always be unhappy.
If you nail the other woman or parent because they dared express one of the "negative" emotions, such as anger, frustration, superiority, competitiveness, self-pity, or vengefulness, while refusing to consider whether they might actually be trying to find a temporary, empowering response to a difficult situation, then your own emotional reactions will constantly remain on Red Alert.
If you nail the other woman or parent over mistakes and situations that you would easily excuse in yourself because of the natural messiness of being human, you will constantly feel under siege, as if they are doing these things on purpose to make your life miserable.
They are, after all, just a person.
Like you.
Why are they expected to be perfect -- and you're not?
And what might happen if you held the other woman or parent to the same standards you normally apply to yourself and those you love?
